I’ve been in a lot of conversations recently with parents, company execs, and employees about what happens when the wrong picture, the wrong words or both get out. Now “get out” in the old days meant that rumors were spreading about you in the halls of your high school or around the office cooler. So, you ate crow, apologized, were humble for awhile and things got back to normal.

Now, “get out” means published, which is a whole much bigger and more dangerous kettle of fish. The world can now see your mistakes. And if a picture or comment virally takes off…the damage may not be repaired.

It’s too big. Thousands of strangers see or read the “mistake”. They take it for gospel. And parents, companies and employees are not trained on how to handle it.

Recently, one of my godchildren started getting mouthy and vulgar on Facebook. F**k this and f**k that. Well, we got that all calmed down, especially when his parents caught up with the problem.

And recently I was forwarded a sorority house photo where many of the lovely University of Colorado coeds were topless. My alma mater. Now, if I saw that then thousands if not tens of thousands of people saw it. “Daddy, I’m so so sorry”, may not be enough for Daddy who is paying the freight for lovely Lisa to learn how to, apparently, become a pole dancer.

And now we have reports of employees using new media to slam companies, either after being fired or passed over for a raise, or having benefits withdrawn. These folks go to new media and use it, they think, as a weapon.

Might as well turn a loaded handgun on yourself, because that is really what you are doing.

So hear are some guidelines:

1. Don’t think outloud with a bullhorn attached to your lips.

2. If your style is “stream of consciousness”, which is the style of many Twitter folks…say only positive things. theclimbergirl, one of my tweet partners, is a master at this.

3. When you publish, ask yourself these questions: Is this a fact that I can back up and am ready to discuss? Is this better left out of the text?  Am I ready to defend this information with real logic?

4. Don’t publish anything when you are in an altered state of mind. You can write out your frustrations. You can rant and rave on paper. That is good for you. However, DO NOT PUBLISH. Wait for the morning and then read it again. You will delete or delete much of it…I promise you.

5. Notice the guy at the party taking pictures on his cellphone. Notice him. Watch him. And know that he does not mean well. He is not recording the event for good. He is trying to get compromising shots that draw attention to him. Could be at your expense.

And now back to my godchildren, and lovely Lisa the coed.  And you want to correct the mistake or you are the parents and want to minimize damage.

1. Do not wait. This will not blow over. If it is a controversial photo or text it will only grow. Attack the mistake. Now.

2. Be straight forward. No hedging. Address the mistake, tell the world you were wrong, and indicate that you have learned a lesson.

3. Be prepared for the tide to keep coming back in, and bringing the mistake to your attention, over and over again…for awhile. But once you have apologized and published it…stay quiet. You have said what you needed to say…now go on with your life.

4. Learn to laugh. When people bring it up, laugh, and tell them what a bone-headed mistake it was. Treat it as if it was just a mistake and that you are moving on. They will treat it the same.

Oh, one more very important note. I have been in discussions with lawyers of some of the best companies in the outdoor space. All are talking about what legal action can be taken, or should be taken, against employees or customers who vent their anger and focus it on the company. As companies realize the potential damage of this “slander”, they will take action. Why? Because of this.

New media can be a loaded gun. Start firing it and a lot of people in the room can get hurt. Most of all, you.